i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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