so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize