Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize