I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
