honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
