You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
