What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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