I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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