I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i think we sleep fucked last night...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
