Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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