The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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