He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
