Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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