i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
