You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
