I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
