dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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