His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
