you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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