im drinking this country out of the recession.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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