soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
