i would punch a child for taco bell
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
