No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize