So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
