Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
