You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
