she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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