he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
