how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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