The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
