come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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