wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
