Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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