We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
