I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
