We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
