Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
