I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
