oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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