My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
