I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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