Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
