You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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