You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
