Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
