I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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