i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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