Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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