he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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