And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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