Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
