we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
