Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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