what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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