worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
