I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
