Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
operation harelip BJ is a go
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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