Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
pray to the hookup gods
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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